I couldn’t let the whole month of December go without at least one post, and if I don’t do it now -- while Dean is napping and Henry is playing in the new playhouse Matthew built as their Christmas present -- I never will. It is a luxury to be able to sit at all in my house on Christmas Day. This is the first Christmas in my entire life that I have not traveled to someone else’s house on Christmas (I don’t think walking down the street to my Mom’s for an early supper today counts). We spent yesterday on the Northshore with Matthew’s family and will be traveling quite a bit the rest of the week, so we ducked out of the annual Oivanki clan get together in Baton Rouge this year and are just sitting tight in our own little house for this one. It has been so nice to open gifts and make phone calls at our own pace, pack for our upcoming travels, and watch the kids playing with their new toys.
This was Dean’s first Christmas in which he was aware of what was happening. He took a picture with Santa at the neighborhood Christmas tree sale, we’ve been reading Christmas Mice and Ho Ho Ho Tucker almost every night, and he knows Jingle Bells and Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer by heart. When he walked into the dining room this morning he immediately said, “Look at all the toys!” Of course, the boys mostly want to play with each other’s toys, which means Henry has been spinning himself off the Sit n’ Spin (yes, they still make them!) and Dean is intent on breaking the hover helicopter. Overall I’d say they are both pleased with Santa’s selections this year, and I think the playhouse is going to be a real hit. It has two stories, working windows, and the upper floor can be accessed either via wrap-around ramp or by scaling the climbing wall we made for Henry last birthday. Matthew really outdid himself. He worked nonstop Thursday. The boys went with Maddie and Paw and Dellie to Mandeville Thursday a.m. and we picked them up yesterday, so Thursday we had the day mostly to ourselves. I spent most of it working, but it was not the chore it typically is when I know the kids are at home and want to be with them. I was actually the least person to leave the office at 2:30, but I didn’t mind a bit. Then I went shopping AT THE MALL, two days before Christmas, and I didn’t mind that, either. You want that parking spot? Go ahead, take it. You have two kids in tow? Go ahead of me in line, I have all day. I shopped without guilt, without rush, without feeling like my heart and my feet needed to be in two different place at once, it was glorious. Then I went home and Matthew and I went for an early supper at One in the Riverbend (lovely, sat at the food bar, most entertaining meal ever) and then saw Harry Potter. I slept in yesterday morning and then watched Patrick Stewart in A Christmas Carol (it is the best version in my humble opinion) while wrapping gifts. Time seemed to stretch out without any kids or guilt to interrupt it.
I am grateful for so much this year, and am not sure I am going to make any resolutions. I am proud that I achieved two from this time last year -- we did find a housekeeper who comes once every two weeks and has enabled me to be grateful for not having had to clean my microwave in six months. We also found a babysitter and started doing regular date nights -- it is so nice to have a night out to look forward to every couple of weeks. This year, my struggle is going to be to keep my balance. I have actually felt off-balance the last few months when it comes to work and the kids. Since returning from maternity leave after Dean, I’ve worked til Henry gets out of school Monday through Thursdays and was off on Fridays. I have to say that for most of the past two years that arrangement has really worked and I am so glad I had a firm willing (reluctantly) to let me do it. I have enjoyed going to Audubon Park with Dean after dropping Henry off at school, making a biweekly run to Whole Foods, catching up on this week’s episode of Parenthood while Dean napped. But for the past few months, my work has really gotten more intense and I’ve been spending one Friday after another taking client calls while in the produce aisle, frantically sending e-mails and reviewing agreements while Dean naps, and generally feeling like my mind was trying to be in two places. The nature of my work and the level of my involvement in files has simply ramped up and the fact is that I like what I am doing and don’t want to have to step away from this more challenging work. But I also can’t deal with the stress of needing to be with Dean and needing to be at work. My original plan was to return to working Fridays when Dean is in preschool this summer, but lately it just seemed like the beginning of the year is a more natural transition time. I struggled with this decision for a couple of months but ultimately decided that the best thing for me, and the kids, is to start working on Fridays again in January. I’ll still be part-time because I will leave every day when it it time to pick up Henry. But I will physically be in the office on Fridays. I think it will give me more balance because I will feel less overwhelmed at work and also more willing to put work off until the next day. The only thing I will really miss is that one-on-one time with Dean, which will now be spent with Matthew, at least until this summer. So I guess if I have a resolution for this new year, it is to take Dean to the park at least once afternoon a week, just the two of us, without a phone, so I can just focus on him and his fearless exploration. I think Dean technically gets more time with me than Henry did, since I worked even more hours than I will in January when Henry was this age, but he does have to share me, which Henry didn’t. I guess nothing is ever fair in that sense of perfectly even measure. But I feel very good in my own skin and soul that this will be a good arrangement for me and our family, and that’s what counts.
This was Dean’s first Christmas in which he was aware of what was happening. He took a picture with Santa at the neighborhood Christmas tree sale, we’ve been reading Christmas Mice and Ho Ho Ho Tucker almost every night, and he knows Jingle Bells and Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer by heart. When he walked into the dining room this morning he immediately said, “Look at all the toys!” Of course, the boys mostly want to play with each other’s toys, which means Henry has been spinning himself off the Sit n’ Spin (yes, they still make them!) and Dean is intent on breaking the hover helicopter. Overall I’d say they are both pleased with Santa’s selections this year, and I think the playhouse is going to be a real hit. It has two stories, working windows, and the upper floor can be accessed either via wrap-around ramp or by scaling the climbing wall we made for Henry last birthday. Matthew really outdid himself. He worked nonstop Thursday. The boys went with Maddie and Paw and Dellie to Mandeville Thursday a.m. and we picked them up yesterday, so Thursday we had the day mostly to ourselves. I spent most of it working, but it was not the chore it typically is when I know the kids are at home and want to be with them. I was actually the least person to leave the office at 2:30, but I didn’t mind a bit. Then I went shopping AT THE MALL, two days before Christmas, and I didn’t mind that, either. You want that parking spot? Go ahead, take it. You have two kids in tow? Go ahead of me in line, I have all day. I shopped without guilt, without rush, without feeling like my heart and my feet needed to be in two different place at once, it was glorious. Then I went home and Matthew and I went for an early supper at One in the Riverbend (lovely, sat at the food bar, most entertaining meal ever) and then saw Harry Potter. I slept in yesterday morning and then watched Patrick Stewart in A Christmas Carol (it is the best version in my humble opinion) while wrapping gifts. Time seemed to stretch out without any kids or guilt to interrupt it.
I am grateful for so much this year, and am not sure I am going to make any resolutions. I am proud that I achieved two from this time last year -- we did find a housekeeper who comes once every two weeks and has enabled me to be grateful for not having had to clean my microwave in six months. We also found a babysitter and started doing regular date nights -- it is so nice to have a night out to look forward to every couple of weeks. This year, my struggle is going to be to keep my balance. I have actually felt off-balance the last few months when it comes to work and the kids. Since returning from maternity leave after Dean, I’ve worked til Henry gets out of school Monday through Thursdays and was off on Fridays. I have to say that for most of the past two years that arrangement has really worked and I am so glad I had a firm willing (reluctantly) to let me do it. I have enjoyed going to Audubon Park with Dean after dropping Henry off at school, making a biweekly run to Whole Foods, catching up on this week’s episode of Parenthood while Dean napped. But for the past few months, my work has really gotten more intense and I’ve been spending one Friday after another taking client calls while in the produce aisle, frantically sending e-mails and reviewing agreements while Dean naps, and generally feeling like my mind was trying to be in two places. The nature of my work and the level of my involvement in files has simply ramped up and the fact is that I like what I am doing and don’t want to have to step away from this more challenging work. But I also can’t deal with the stress of needing to be with Dean and needing to be at work. My original plan was to return to working Fridays when Dean is in preschool this summer, but lately it just seemed like the beginning of the year is a more natural transition time. I struggled with this decision for a couple of months but ultimately decided that the best thing for me, and the kids, is to start working on Fridays again in January. I’ll still be part-time because I will leave every day when it it time to pick up Henry. But I will physically be in the office on Fridays. I think it will give me more balance because I will feel less overwhelmed at work and also more willing to put work off until the next day. The only thing I will really miss is that one-on-one time with Dean, which will now be spent with Matthew, at least until this summer. So I guess if I have a resolution for this new year, it is to take Dean to the park at least once afternoon a week, just the two of us, without a phone, so I can just focus on him and his fearless exploration. I think Dean technically gets more time with me than Henry did, since I worked even more hours than I will in January when Henry was this age, but he does have to share me, which Henry didn’t. I guess nothing is ever fair in that sense of perfectly even measure. But I feel very good in my own skin and soul that this will be a good arrangement for me and our family, and that’s what counts.
0 comments:
Post a Comment